Who Are You?

Many years ago, a friend described to me a job interview that had left him perplexed. In it, the hiring manager had asked him, “Who are you?” 

My friend immediately began to list his “accomplishments”—his degrees, work experience, etc. 

“That’s all well and good, but who are you?” the interviewer persisted. 

My friend next rattled off pertinent info about his family and community—he was a son, a father, a brother, a husband, a Presbyterian. 

“Yes, but who are you?” was the response. 

Flummoxed, my friend gave up. (He didn’t get the job.)

Perhaps you can infer what this interviewer was getting at. Each of us, while incarnated here, takes on many templates, and the collective sum of them is who most of us think we are. For example, “I”—Tina— am a white woman, an American, a college graduate, a brunette, etc. In reality, though, I am none of those things. Rather, I am experiencing them. While here on earth, we have a built-in operating system, to borrow a term from technology, and this operating system—known as the ego, or personality structure—is who most of us think we are. The ego is not only what we think of as our personality, but also all of the subconscious programming we hold, such as childhood wounds, past-life experiences, karma, etc. The ego experiences everything through the lens of its programming, its five senses, its physical body, and takes actions accordingly. It also experiences everything in a linear fashion (the time/space continuum) and focuses on the past or future; its stock in trade is fear-based thinking: regrets, anger, desires, worries, what ifs, etc. A favorite thought pattern of the ego is judgment; judge yourself or judge others—the ego doesn’t care which! If and when you catch yourself thinking about how you are unworthy, undeserving, unlucky or not good enough (not rich enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, etc.), or making similar judgments about someone else, you can be sure it’s the ego in action. And all of those thoughts and feelings stem from the same place: fear. Fear is really a synonym for the way we perceive everyone and everything in the world as separate from us. 

This 3D, or separation consciousness, causes us to see lack, rather than abundance, in our own lives and on the planet. Let’s use immigration as an example. Some of the arguments against immigration include the following: What if these immigrants are criminals? What if my tax dollars have to support them? What if they take too many jobs from current citizens? What is each one of these arguments really saying? “I am afraid that someone may harm me or my loved ones. I am afraid there are not enough financial resources and jobs in this world to go around. I am afraid.” 

Up until now on this planet, most of us have lived most of our lives thinking we are our egos, our small selves, so to speak. However, our True Self (call it soul/spirit, divine spark or whatever resonates with you) is who we truly are; it is the infinite being that is here having this experience. Our True Self exists in the present moment (scientists have proven that linear time is an illusion, and we exist only in an eternal present) and speaks to us not from the ever-chattering monkey mind but from our heart. We’ve all experienced intuition or gut feelings and deep within recognized them as the whisperings of our soul.

In theologian and Episcopal priest Cynthia Bourgeault’s wonderful book, The Wisdom Jesus, she explains that the teachings of Jesus are essentially a wisdom path, and that “The Kingdom of Heaven lies within” is a reference to our True Self, which sees things from a higher perspective—5D, or unity consciousness. Much of Christianity teaches that man is separate from God, sinful and in need of salvation, but this is a misunderstanding, and it results from those living in ego/duality consciousness trying to understand and teach non-duality. When we incarnate, the veil of ego allows us—Divine beings—to experience the illusion of separation so that we can ultimately experience again and again that rediscovery of Oneness, of unconditional love, of inclusivity. Unfortunately, for thousands of years, we’ve been walking around this planet thinking/believing we are the illusion, never quite awakening, pulling the veil from our eyes and discovering our Oneness.

Put another way, by Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, “Enlightenment is when a wave realizes that it is the ocean.” The True Self knows that we are each an expression of the Divine; each of us is a unique focal point of God, but we are all cells on the One body, so to speak. In that sense, there is no me. There is no you. There is only the One, experiencing Itself in infinite ways. And, so it follows, what is in the highest good of one of us is in the highest good of all of us. This notion of the highest good is one where the ego will often object; ego loves to see winners and losers, so I’ll share an example from my own life that illustrates this principle:

Early in my career, I had an entry-level, low-paying job. When there was a job opening in a different department that offered a lot more money and better benefits, I applied for it. I wasn’t particularly interested in the (marketing) work, but it certainly seemed sensible to try to “move up the ladder.” I had a wonderful 90-minute interview/conversation with the department head, at the conclusion of which he told me, “I know you could do this job. But I just don’t think it’s your passion. It’s not where you belong.” Someone else got the position. A few weeks later (and through Divine synchronicity, because our soul always has a bigger plan for our lives—though that’s another blog post), I was offered a job at another company—and this job was a dream job! Not only was the work fulfilling, but I made two of the best friends I’ve ever had there. The highest good of one (the person who got the marketing job) was also my highest good, even if it didn’t seem so when I wasn’t hired. And this is always the case, though often we (the small self) don’t understand this until much further down the road. Again, the True Self sees things from a higher perspective; our soul has the view from the mountain/long-term, while our small self only sees things from ground level/short-term. What is meant for us will never pass us by.

Unchecked, the ego keeps us in a prison of our own making. Deepak Chopra has a wonderful quote about most of us preferring the familiar—even if we are miserable in our lives—because we are so frightened of change. And when we fear change, we know who is calling the shots—good old ego. The True Self, the soul, on the other hand, fears nothing; it knows its eternal nature. One of my favorite quotes from A Course in Miracles speaks to this: “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Therein lies the peace of God.” What the ego thinks of as “real” is merely an experience we are having to evolve our soul and learn lessons of love. When Einstein said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one,” he was speaking of this 3D world—a world that those of us incarnated here are in, but most definitely not of.  

I’ve written previously of the opportunity the Universe has given us, via COVID-19 (it is the Universe telling us to go inside, not only literally but figuratively), and I want to return to that now, looking at it in terms of 3D/separation consciousness vs. 5D/unity consciousness. In this moment, the coronavirus is once again surging in many countries around the world, including the U.S. The world has been rife with discord between those who support(ed) a complete shutdown, and those who consider themselves rugged individualists who should have the right to choose. I have two thoughts about this I want to share:

1) If, when the virus first began spreading, every single one of us had isolated and always worn a mask during essential outings, it would likely have been eradicated in a few months. If every person who exercised his/her individual freedoms and socialized, etc., had instead chosen the collective good and stayed home, we would probably be through this by now. The highest good of one is the highest good of all, in this case because had those who didn’t want to isolate done it anyway, they would have more quickly found themselves back in a world with concerts, travel, etc. All of us would have reaped the benefits of quarantining as One body. Instead, choices made in separation/ego desire have led to the COVID experience continuing for us all, with no end in sight in this moment. I want to emphasize that I say this without judgment of those who have chosen not to quarantine, with only love and compassion for every being here on the planet, which brings me to

2) Our world is changing: It is moving from separation consciousness to unity consciousness. COVID is but one of many harbingers of this ascension. We have been experiencing a collective dark night of the soul on this planet. Chaos precedes evolution, and the ego/fear behavior run amok—whether it be maskless gatherings, racism, you name it—is literally all of this planet’s inhabitants’ collective wounds coming up to be seen and—more importantly—to be healed. And the healing has begun. It is happening individually, as many of us awaken. And we are seeing the seeds of it collectively every day in the way people around the world are becoming galvanized as forces of love in support of various causes. As the old question goes: How do you get world peace? You have a world full of people with inner peace. Inner transformation is key.

Let me be clear: I am not making a political statement. I (early) voted for Joe Biden, as his party’s policies most closely align with my intentions for a world where all are respected, cared for, loved—not only people, but all beings and the planet itself. But intention is what matters. One can just as easily vote Democratic from a place of fear and loathing as one can Republican. As Wayne Dyer said, “What you are for empowers you. What you are against weakens you.” This may seem like mere semantics, but it is not. One of the principles of spirituality that I live by is, “What you damn, damns you back. The action of fear is to claim more fear.” This does not mean condoning or excusing fearful behavior that causes harm to others, but it does mean understanding that “hurt people hurt people” and having compassion for those whose journeys are different from our own. There are no “sides.” Rather, there are two states of being: love and fear.

I think that most of us sense intuitively that the world is changing. Pain precedes growth and we are experiencing this individually and collectively. I don’t know how long this raising of our collective consciousness from 3D to 5D will take—years? Perhaps lifetimes. When it happens, what it will mean is that each of us has become integrated, i.e. all of the elements of our personality will be used in service of the Divine self. This True Self knows who we are; it knows our highest good, our heart’s truest desires. We think of surrender as a giving up, but surrendering to our True Self is actually the gateway to walking our highest path and living to our fullest potential. When we have a world where each of us is doing this, we will quite literally be experiencing heaven on earth. 

I’ll close with part of a poem by Rumi that speaks eloquently on the topic of ego and soul:

Who Says Words With My Mouth?

All day I think about it, then at night I say it.
Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere, I’m sure of that,
and I intend to end up there.

This drunkenness began in some other tavern.
When I get back around to that place,
I’ll be completely sober.  Meanwhile,
I’m like a bird from another continent, sitting in this aviary.
The day is coming when I fly off,
but who is it now in my ear who hears my voice?
Who says words with my mouth?

Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul?
I cannot stop asking.
If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn’t come here of my own accord, and I can’t leave that way.
Whoever brought me here will have to take me home…

Claiming Our Power in Troubling Times


Hello and love to all,

We are, collectively and individually, experiencing one of the great challenges of our lifetimes. In a world where most of us strive for “control,” this uncertainty has made many of us feel fearful…and powerless. But are we? I believe that what we are experiencing is the opportunity of our lifetimes: an invitation to–both literally and metaphorically–go inside and examine the kind of life we want to live, and the kind of world we want to live in, once we have whethered this challenge. I believe it is a choice between love and fear, and we make this choice over and over again every day, using our free will. Necessarily, then, that first requires an understanding of free will.

Philosophers have parsed the meaning of free will for centuries. My perspective on free will and the notion that God has a plan for each of us in this lifetime is this: First off, I think of “God’s plan” as being synonymous with our soul’s plan—it’s an acknowledgement that Spirit has a plan for our journey in this lifetime. I believe that our soul creates this plan for us before each lifetime (and yes, I believe we live many lives, if we so choose), in conjunction with our spirit guide(s)/angels/the God Force, etc. The plan includes many particulars: where and when we are born, our parents, other key relationships and much more. Our soul plan also includes numerous “points of fate,” as Laura Lynne Jackson calls them, events in our lives that are meant to happen (meetings—whether they be a single interaction or a longer relationship, careers, many other things). I believe that there are NO coincidences. I believe that Earth is a school for our souls and we have each come here with a plan to discover our unique gifts and use them in service to love. “We’re here having a collective lesson in love,” as Jackson says.

Now, here is how I define free will: THE ABILITY TO CHOOSE OUR THOUGHTS, OUR WORDS AND OUR ACTIONS IN EVERY MOMENT OF OUR LIVES. To paraphrase A Course in Miracles, we do not get to choose the curriculum, or even the form in which the lesson comes; we DO get to choose when we learn it. We’ve all experienced times when we haven’t followed our intuition, or when we’ve made fearful choices, and in those times the lessons/our lives get harder. My understanding is that our soul plan for each lifetime is like an “almost infinite flow-chart” of sorts: in every moment, our thoughts/words/actions determine how we move forward on our soul path. Our soul, of course, sees no choices as right or wrong; every choice will bring learning and evolve our soul, moving us toward our ultimate enlightenment. BUT, there definitely are higher and lower paths. If we consistently choose loving thoughts/words/actions, then we walk our highest path. We will still face challenges, but we will know they are happening FOR us and embrace them as opportunities for growth. If we consistently choose from the lower vibration of fear (and we’ve all made those choices—we are human and we will all make fearful choices, and must forgive ourselves—if we could have done better in a given moment, we would have, and we take that lesson learned and are now free to choose again in a more loving way), the lessons will be more painful. But, whether we learn “the hard way, or the easy way,” our soul’s flow chart will still get us to all of the points of fate that we are meant to experience. It’s my experience that we WILL follow our soul plan, and I think that is where the notion of a lack of free will or limited free will comes into play for some people. Again, A Course in Miracles explains it beautifully: We do not get to choose the curriculum; merely when we learn it.

I believe that the coronavirus is an invitation to each of us to rise up in love, to be gentle and kind and compassionate to others, and to ourselves. If we collectively choose loving thoughts, words, and actions, we will not only survive this challenge, we will thrive like never before. We will do it together.

If, in these unprecedented times, anyone is looking for uplifting reading materials related to these topics, I highly recommend Marianne Williamson’s classic book A Return to Love (she’s actually reading it aloud daily on her YouTube channel), Laura Lynne Jackson’s The Light Between Us, and Robert Schwartz’s Your Soul’s Plan. Again, lots of love to all.